You always hope that your hard work, the moments that you’ve sacrificed, will not all be done in vain, that within time, the experiences you have forgone in order to dedicate yourself to a vision that you hold within, will manifest in some form within your reality. Eclectics find themselves in an array of engagements that stretch across many disciplines, the possible reflection of a boy looking for man hood or a serum for curiosity, passion and novelty. Peering down my path of life thus far I ponder the question, “What breed are you?” A filmmaker who studies biology. A hunter and archer who has a love for horticulture. A technophile that wishes to be surrounded by forests more often than people. A psychonaught that wishes to traverse inner and outer space. These dichotomies swirl around my very being, particles of valence that make up my existence. They do not answer the question of “Who are you?” but they do reflect aspects of Who I Am.
Honestly, I’ve been procrastinating this blog for years. I’ve saved the word document titled, “Blog Post” continuously, as if I’m pulling the cord to stubborn lawnmower. Each time I find myself wondering, what in the hell am I doing? My daily writing consists of free flows of conscious thought, a mostly unutterable cascade of abstract ideas, the hashing out of thought patterns determining whether they should be kept around or uprooted. Nothing, or at least how I define it, nothing worthy of anyone else’s eyes. The main purpose of the daily execution is more a self organizing and spiritual, mental enhancement. How do I know what I think until I think or write about it? How do I explore ideas to their fullest potential and follow them to their final outcome? I write. Those mediations serve me more in that of an exercise routine, strengthening my mental capacities, writing techniques and the beneficial and sometimes painful, cathartic, therapeutic understanding of latent delusions or ignorance that I’ve held on to for far too long. In order to live out one’s destiny, one must push beyond the self held horizons and discover new channels of understanding. We find ourselves today with access to various options to engage with, in order to enhance their understanding and control over any subject. One can purchase a tree trunk of books that will tell you how to accomplish, whatever it is you wish to accomplish. The YouTube playlist of “How to” Videos and “Top 10 Tips for Beginners” liter our watch later folders. Perhaps even investing in a weekend convention sponsored by international business conglomerates, hosted by some of the world’s most renowned professionals. All of which are excellent strategies to get started, to improve current statuses and to come into contact with Others. But nothing is as powerful as actually doing the thing you wish to be good at even when you aren’t good at doing that thing. The idea that I can’t start something because if I start I will reveal what I hope to not to be true but I definitely suspect is: that I’m not as good as I think I am or maybe I’ll never be as good as I wish to be. Thoughts from a closed mind set executing self-fulfilling prophecy software. A potentially lethal set of commands that if carried out over a life time or perhaps even less time, could result in actualization of the fears in which prevented you from starting, from doing, from learning in the first place. Thus, one must cultivate a mind set of growth, of potential, knowing that where I am today is not where I will be tomorrow if I’m brave enough to do what scares me the most. To look into the dark abyss, to face the dragon that harbors my treasure. Taking this mind route you will not become as good as you wish to be, you will become as great as brave as you are. An equal and opposite reaction.
I don’t know how to write a blog, I don’t know how to formulate ideas in ways that readers will want to ingest and continue. I know how to peck at a keyboard as to translate my inner world into a hieroglyphic one. So I’ll start there. This is where you lay the ground work and believe that, “I WILL GET BETTER.”
Into the unknown we march, into all matter and possibility and potential to discover and witness what lies within.
These are, The Meditations. Thoughts, ideas, perceptions, and experiences of Coltyn Seifert.